The Sunshine State.
The United States’ version of Australia.
The state that brings you the Keys, Miami, Beaches, bikinis, Disney, Universal Studios, and so much more…
We are loved by but slightly different from the rest of our country.
1. Hurricanes. They are just larger thunderstorms to us. We don’t really panic unless Jim Cantore shows up and even then we still hang tough, power through and think up jokes and memes, because we’ve been through more hurricanes than we can count. And that’s definitely not the way we’re going out.
2. Alligators are everywhere. I mean in the lakes in front of your high school and in your mom’s pool, walking in the park or on the road. EVERYWHERE. You learn to ignore them unless they choose to no longer ignore you, then you learn to run like hell.
3. Sharks. Unless you live close to a beach, a real life shark is a foreign concept to you. Our lives are not like the movie Jaws…
4. Snakes can be found everywhere. I mean it can’t be helped when the southern tip of our state is swamp land… And these bad boys get huge and dangerous. Best to stay far away from them all.
5. We have annual passes to multiple theme parks and make day trips as often as possible. We actually have theme parks down to a science. Our lives without theme parks would be… *shudder* Nevermind…
6. The best subs come from Publix without a doubt. (They have really good chicken too). We don’t buy into the corner deli thing other states have going for them.
7. Sweet tea is offered everywhere. And it’s made sweet. We don’t have to add sugar after we get it. That’s just… weird.
8. We are able to experience all four seasons in a single day. (If you’ve ever wondered why we wear sweatshirts with flip-flops or sunglasses, this is why. We want to be prepared for both winter and summer). It’s nice until you make plans for one season and get another.
9. Not only that but we have different weather on opposite sides of the road. Sunshine on one side and thunderstorms on the other. Tornados and rainbows. Our weather can never make up it’s damn mind.
10. College football is life. You must have a team you root for and know how to trash talk every other team in the state. If not, do you even exist…
Florida may be strange but I love it, and all of the shit storms that come with it.
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